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Lessons on Marriage and Life I Learned This Weekend

I made the mistake of looking through the Huffington Post online.  I used the justification that I wanted to see what the rest of the world was thinking.  This is a justification that I’m sure I’ve reprimanded clients for doing and here I am reading about the cesspool of public thought and life.  Pretty much everything in the Huffington Post goes against everything I believe and pretty much everything on there mocks what I hold dear so it’s my own fault.  One small example: the section on marriage and the family is called “Divorce.”  I kid you not.   This would be like the section on healthy living would be called “Autopsy.” Since death is inevitable let’s just get the death part down.

Lesson learned: Don’t read the Huffington Post.

I learned on the HP that the Kardashian sister that filed for divorce a month ago is already dating, setting another example for all little girls in the world that committed relationships are only about romance and “I just wanna be happy,” and making it harder for people to stay in their marriages if they aren’t happy because they will follow this socialite’s lifestyle and making it more likely I’ll have even more clients that tell me they’ve “fallen” out of love.

Lesson learned: Don’t read the Huffington Post.

I glanced at an article in the HP about a parent glowing that her (his?) 7-year old boy announced that he was “a socially acceptable euphemism for people who practice sodomy.”  (Sorry.  I refuse to use this socially acceptable euphemism for people who practice sodomy on this website.)  This is where the “born this way” argument is going to take us.  Instead of teaching our children to develop self control and moral fiber we’re teaching them there is NOTHING that is morally reprehensible except to think that there is something morally reprehensible.  I personally believe that the parent was an example of child abuse in the most insidious form.  I couldn’t read the whole article.  I was too mad.

Lesson learned: Don’t read the Huffington Post.

My wife and I watched a bio about Whitney Houston, a sad saga for sure.  Here’s this person who had unfathomable talent and right out of the gate was on top of the world, but since the public is so flighty no one (I repeat.  NO ONE) is on top of the world for very long and most of us NEVER are, she fretted and fussed about getting on top of the world so much that the only way she could get to the top was to go to the bottom through drugs.  Drugs tell us we’re on top of the world, at least for a moment, the age old lie The Serpent told Eve.  Of course it leads to death just like every other path to the top of the world.  Curiously, Satan tried the top of the world lie on Jesus and he didn’t fall for it.*  I’d be wise to do the same.

Lesson learned: Be grateful for everyday struggles to eek out living and for the discipline to wake up each day and go to work. 

My wife and I also watched the New York Knicks because we’d heard all the banter about Jeremy Lin and his sudden rise to fame (I pray he keeps his dignity unlike the examples above) and come to find out he’s not just Asian descent, but a Christian, and not just an Asian American Christian, but one who struggled for years before he reached this stage.  And in an interview (he was all over TV this weekend: Whitney’s demise and Lin’s rise.  How fickle we all are looking for people to follow.) he said the key to his seemingly sudden success was he decided he’d had to quit worrying about failure, that he was so worried about making a mistake that it held him back and he decided to just go all out and let the mistakes take care of themselves.  By the way, watching him play was an absolute delight.

Two Lessons Learned: 1) Keep plugging away; 2) Watch the New York Knicks


*Matthew 4


Dr. Bing Wall is a therapist specializing in marriage and relationships and issues facing single adults with a practice in Ames and Urbandale, Iowa.  To set up a time to see Dr. Wall click here or call 888-233-8473.  For more information about Dr. Wall click here.

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