Thanks for posting this. Lots of good stuff to ponder here.

A great example of the kind of dad you are talking about is found in the book Mornings on Horseback by David McCullough. It’s a story of the Roosevelt family starting in the 1850′s up until right before Teddy Roosevelt got into politics. There is one thing that is clear in the family dynamic of this time period and that is the Teddy Roosevelt’s father took a major role in shaping all the members of the family. There is a great chapter in the book after the father died and there is page after page of journal entries from the kids on what their life was like after their father’s death.

fritz

On every job I’ve ever had I’ve always gotten the most money for my position and the most flexible work hours because of my energy and good attitude even during stressful situations and problems at work. Even as a dish washer it was important to have the best outlook on life as possible A eight hour shift as a dish washer really moves slow if you can’t whistle a tune or joke around about life while you are doing it. (BTW, After only two weeks of working as a dish washer on Christmas break from college I was offered full time employment and a double my pay if I would quit college and stay on as a dish washer. As tempting as that was I went back to college.) Although back then I didn’t call it an emotional levee…I live in San Francisco so I have earthquakes to worry about.

I do want you to know our cul-de-sac is full of kids and parents all outside all of the time. I can’t keep my daughter inside for 10mins and she doesn’t care about tv. Some kids still play outside so don’t lose hope.

Great, honest blog!

Thanks!

You can make this a basic marriage rule by using the words
“children, inlaws, or friends” instead of just kids or children. Nothing should come between your relationship and you should not let it happen. But most couples just do not realize that the kids WILL try to break up the power of the parental unit. It’s part of their learning experience. Until they realize that it is a great strength for them and not a force that is against them.

What a great piece of advice! And sums up most of what you said. Thanks for helping us all understand what are the right things! You should add, …”and if you can marry someone who has a marriage therapist as a father or mother in-law – do!!!”

I can’t agree more with you.

But I have a question about how to go about change.
I’ve given into all three of these excuses over the years.
The pet thing, what about the kids (neighbors), the snoring, moving around, talking, singing, being mad. All the issues of sleeping separately, so at least one of us can get a good nights sleep. That 20 years of guilt.
So how do I go about approaching change.

Most of the time, I tend to agree with your advice. I enjoy reading your posts and I find them helpful.

However, many of your posts lately seem to be mocking and sarcastic. That can have it’s place, but where does the advice come in? Much of what you write is about showing people that their thoughts and actions are absurd by being extreme, but what should we be thinking and doing instead?

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts,
Caroline

I’m not married and I enjoy these blogs because it reminds me how I should treat others and reminds me not to act like neanderthal just because I don’t have someone to keep me in line.

The blogs you post are relevant, educational, and easy to read, as well as being useful tools for us to refer to time and again as we continue to strengthen our relationship. With that being said, have you ever considered posting a blog for the couple interested in developing or improving their relationship with God?

If a couple wanted to learn how to take refuge in Him together, is that a service you also provide?

‘ODE TO 60’

YOU COULD DRIVE 60 MILES PER HOUR,
ALL IN THE FAST LANE
YOU COULD SELL 60 SOFTENERS,
THAT ALL LOOK THE SAME
YOU COULD MOW 60 LAWNS
FOLLOWED BY 60 YAWNS
YOU COULD GROW 60 BEANS,
ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE WHERE THEY CAN’T BE SEEN
YOU COULD SNORE 60 NIGHTS
THAT COULD START 60 FIGHTS
YOU COULD HAVE 60 SIGHS
YOU COULD SAY 60 GOOD BYES
YOU COLD VISIT 60 FOLKS
AND TELL THE SAME 60 JOKES
YOU COULD GO FISHING 60 TIMES,
IF YOU CATCH ONE I’LL GIVE YOU 60 DIMES.
YOU COULD BE MARRIED 60 YEARS,
WITH LOVE AND JOY AND ONLY 60 TEARS
OR
YOU COULD JUST HAVE 60 BEERS.

THE END

Congratulations on 60 Years of Marriage!

Words can’t express the love that I have Grandpa Fritz and Grandma Carol. They’ve set a wonderful example of Christ over the years to so many people, including myself. I watched them both drive around Rochester picking up kids to take to church. They would talk to my friends about Jesus and whether or not they had a Bible or meet people at the truck stop to have a cup of coffee and build relationships with the locals or people just passing through.

When I was around 13, grandma and grandpa picked me up from camp and one of the first things Fritz did was give me a card with John 3:16 on it. He asked me to memorize it and asked me what I thought it meant to me.

When I was 14, I went to another camp where they took us into the inner city of Des Moines to work at a battered woman’s shelter. I made a decision that day that I wanted to work in the inner city to help people in need.

I currently am working with inner city youth with the hopes that I can set an example of Christ’s love for them. I contribute part of that reason because of the example that Fritz and Carol have set for the rest of us; their example of love and dedication to the Lord and that many will follow Him.

I am blessed to have such wonderful grandparents.

Love You Much,

Emilie Sue Rochelle Wall

Love you grandpa and grandma!

More inspiration has come from Fritz in my sales career. Fritz at 82 is still selling. Now I hope I don’t have to sell into my 80′s, but if he can do it, why can’t I go up to a door and sell an old lady with white gloves a ketchup Popsicle. Fritz doesn’t sell anyway, he opens up to people and allows others to be themselves and open up to him. There is no closing line or foot-in-the-door technique. Just being a loving and caring person with a listening heart will sell every time. Just last week I bought two more water softeners from Fritz and I don’t even need one. Fritz told me a story once where he went up to a door with a cup of coffee, and when a lady came to the door he said to her, “You wouldn’t turn away a guy with a cup of coffee in his hand would you?” Now I show up to all my clients meetings with a cup of coffee. Just kidding.

Carol has the attitude that is really lost in our society. Carol is genuinely happy to see the first robin of spring in her trees. I’ve never had a conversation with her growing up where she wasn’t excited by what I was doing. This really is the light of Christ shining through her and everyones’ life is better for knowing her. I can’t remember the last time I looked out the window and maybe seeing a humming bird and feeling warm inside. I usually think about calling pest control. You know…because a flock of humming birds outside can really do a number on the windshield of my car. Carol reminds me that life has many blessings and that we have reason to celebrate every single one.

If there is one thing that Fritz and Carol have always told me ever since I was little, it is this: “Marty, you’re better than Brandon.” So true.

I remember seeing them all the time at my house on most holidays. After saying hi and giving hugs, seeing Fritz reach for the newspaper to see if there were any good deals in the classified, all while Carol telling me about the cookies she baked (most likely sand cookies). I remember one day, when they both told me that I was better than Marty (O wait, that may have been one of my dreams as a kid, but we all know that I am). What can I say, I have lots of memories of them. I love hearing Fritz’s jokes, hearing Carol laugh, seeing their hearts for the poor and wanting everyone to know that Jesus is King.

So this reply is to them: To thank them for being great, for setting the bar high for us young couples, for teaching us how to laugh, how to work hard, for being self-sacrificial, for teaching us that material possessions are not what life is about, for inspiring us to live simply and give freely, teaching us to love people and reach out to all, and for teaching us to not give up even though many around us tell us to stop loving people. In short, thanks for letting us celebrate your 60th in a time where most people don’t even make it to their 5th.

Once again you help me answer the great debate going on in my mind … What is my marriage? How could it be “good” with this blemish. Good…maybe not… at least my definition of a “good” marriage… but successful and happy..absolutely! The 38 year journey has been a blast! We
have laughed with and loved God, ourselves, each other, our children, our family, our friends – and many, many strangers along the way!

So I say once again…Thank you!