What if the physical violence or the threat of violence is a concern?
The number one concern is safety. If your life or well-being is threatened, getting away to a safe place may be in order. There are domestic abuse shelters for spouses and children when a partner is unwilling to cooperate with counseling.
If both partners are willing to work together on reducing abuse, we can be of assistance. While the person who commits the acts of violence is responsible for his or her actions, partners can work together to make their interactions around conflict more positive. We take a pro-active approach to teach couples other ways to interact, which, if followed, can eliminate abuse from the family. Call us for details.
What if we have a no contact order but we still want marital therapy?
If you have a no contact order, that means no contact, including therapy, unless you get a judge’s order to make marital therapy an exception to the order. In some cases the no contact order may be removed in entirety if the couple is motivated to learn how to resolve their differences in a mutually beneficial way.
If you have a no contact order and wish to go to joint therapy, talk with your lawyer and/or judge to get the court order removed or to have marital therapy inserted as an exception. If the latter, please bring a written copy of the court order with you when you start therapy with us.
What if one of us has received a court order for marital therapy?
Certainly it is more helpful if both partners come to marital therapy because they want to. If they come because the court has ordered them it is often difficult to create an atmosphere of cooperation. However, we have several services that may be of benefit even for the most conflictual couple:
1. We can help the couple negotiate their differences (property and child custody) so that when they go to their lawyers, most of the details are worked out to the couple’s satisfaction
2. We can help the couple discuss the issues that led to their breakdown so that there is more understanding between partners
3. We can assist the couple in learning to be respectful and to get along in the future as they will still be in contact around their children in the future for years to come.
4. We can help partners resolve pain around their relationship hurts. In some cases this may lead the partners to reconsider their pending divorce. However, we do not try to talk a partner out of his or her decisions. We seek to create an atmosphere of understanding.
NOTE: We are not lawyers and do not give legal advice. Lawyers seek to represent their clients’ best interest. Our goal is to help people get along. Sometimes these two goals are compatible; sometimes they are not.
