I’m scared about coming to therapy. What can you do to make it easier for me?
An ancient proverb says that a wise person seeks advice. Sometimes the advice of a family member or friend can be very helpful. Other times an unbiased opinion is what is needed in order to get a perspective. We don’t know you. We go home to our own families at night. We’ve been down this road with hundreds of others. We know the terrain. We can point out obstacles. We can point out possible solutions. We can help you think through options and harness your strengths. We see ourselves more like coaches or mentors, than therapists. We aren’t there to put you down or uncover your deepest secrets. We’re there to help you face the obstacles before you with dignity and grace. This can be a very enriching experience.
What about your office? Is it like my dentist’s office?
We’ve tried to make our offices (Ames and Urbandale) comfortable like home. The Ames office is decorated in mission furniture with a leather couch for clients to sit on. The Urbandale office is like a cozy family room, with couch and armoire.
What about privacy?
At the Ames office, there is private, off-street parking and clients can come in the side door. In Urbandale, the office is located in a strip mall in an Executive Suites. There are two waiting areas for privacy.
What about confidentiality?
What you say in therapy, or even that you are in therapy, is held in strict confidence unless you sign a release (for example to talk to your doctor or pastor). There are also a few times that confidentiality must be broken by law if certain types of crimes are or are about to happen. More information on this is available from our office.
What are your hours?
We take clients during the work week and have day hours available Monday through Friday and evenings Monday through Thursday.
How do I make an appointment?
Call (Des Moines 515-274-4242; Ames: 515-233-8473 or Toll Free: 1-888-233-4334) or fill out the form on our website here and we will set up a time that works for you and us.
How long does it take before you can fit us in?
Usually within a few days.
What is the process like?
The first session is a get-acquainted session for us to find out the issues you are facing. This involves filling out a background questionnaire. If you are coming with your partner we have you fill out marital questionnaires that help us know the kinds the things going on in your relationship. We then talk with you and have you explain your situation. We may ask a few questions along the way to help us understand. Toward the end of the first session we’ll make a few recommendations and together we decide what is the next step.
How often do you meet with people?
In most cases we like to see people one hour per week so we feel like we are making progress. In some extenuating circumstances, like affairs, domestic abuse, separation or pending divorce we may recommend meeting more often.
How long does therapy go?
Our goal is to help people learn how to resolve their own difficulties. Most of our clients come between 6 and 12 sessions. Often they are off and running by that time. We have a number of couples who, even after they are done with therapy, come once a month for awhile for accountability purposes: knowing they will see us at the end of the month helps them stay motivated to continue to work on their marriages.
A common pitfall:
Recently, there has been some discussion (here) amongst therapists and marital researchers about how sometimes therapy leads to divorce. Counselors not trained in marital therapy or who have a negative view of marriage from the get-go, may steer their clients to “listen to their feelings” or “do something for yourself.” They may inadvertently or intentionally encourage their clients to consider divorce in order to be happy. Our opinion is that divorce has it’s own pitfalls and seeking divorce in order to be happy is not the right reason to divorce. Happiness is nebulous and difficult to attain and should not be sought for it’s own sake. Happiness is the result of right choices. Certainly, we help clients think through their options. But we also help them look at things they might have missed or look at things differently.
I have a problem I need to deal with but I’ve never told anyone and frankly, I’m scared to.
We’ve had many clients tell us that they like our approach because we honor them! We let you determine the pace. We know people often have to build trust before they can talk about certain things. We know that you will tell us when you are ready and that is OK. We are honored that you would consider bringing us into your secret world.
Dr. Wall has two blogs that discuss the therapy process. He commented on therapy being a new perspective here. He discusses first session jitters in therapy here.
