http://thrivingcouples.com Fri, 18 May 2012 14:55:22 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Copyright © 2011 Dr. Bing Wall www.thrivingcouples.com h2hclc@gmail.com (Dr. Bing Wall) h2hclc@gmail.com (Dr. Bing Wall) 1440 http://thrivingcouples.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/itunes-button-wsj-w.jpg http://thrivingcouples.com 144 144 http://feeds.feedburner.com/thrivingcouples/PsUV Dr. Bing Wall, answers your questions about making marriage all it was meant to be. Whether you need a pat on the back, a kick in the pants or motivation to keep hanging in there, this is the place for you. See: www.thrivingcouples.com Dr. Bing Wall, answers your questions about making marriage all it was meant to be. Whether you need a pat on the back, a kick in the pants or motivation to keep hanging in there, this is the place for you. See: www.thrivingcouples.com Marriage, Husband, Wife, Relationships, Cohabiting, Divorce, Affairs, Couples Dr. Bing Wall Dr. Bing Wall h2hclc@gmail.com no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/18/9-things-saying-sorry-to-your-children-teaches-them/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/18/9-things-saying-sorry-to-your-children-teaches-them/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 10:37:37 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=4053 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/18/9-things-saying-sorry-to-your-children-teaches-them/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/17/the-holy-cave-of-nakedness/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/17/the-holy-cave-of-nakedness/#comments Thu, 17 May 2012 10:18:44 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=4073 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/17/the-holy-cave-of-nakedness/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/14/mourning-marriage-defined-by-man-not-by-god/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/14/mourning-marriage-defined-by-man-not-by-god/#comments Mon, 14 May 2012 11:11:16 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=4048 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/14/mourning-marriage-defined-by-man-not-by-god/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/07/sexuality-and-resilience/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/07/sexuality-and-resilience/#comments Mon, 07 May 2012 08:33:12 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=4037 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/05/07/sexuality-and-resilience/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/26/cohabitations-dark-lie/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/26/cohabitations-dark-lie/#comments Thu, 26 Apr 2012 08:58:54 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3998 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/26/cohabitations-dark-lie/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/25/the-power-of-an-affair-to-delude-the-foolishness-of-bobby-petrino/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/25/the-power-of-an-affair-to-delude-the-foolishness-of-bobby-petrino/#comments Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:01:00 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3993 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/25/the-power-of-an-affair-to-delude-the-foolishness-of-bobby-petrino/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/23/sex-robots-the-sexual-revolutions-disaster-piece/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/23/sex-robots-the-sexual-revolutions-disaster-piece/#comments Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:06:01 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=4005 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/23/sex-robots-the-sexual-revolutions-disaster-piece/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/20/four-negative-patterns-to-avoid-or-kill-your-marriage-in-the-process/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/20/four-negative-patterns-to-avoid-or-kill-your-marriage-in-the-process/#comments Fri, 20 Apr 2012 09:09:45 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3987 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/20/four-negative-patterns-to-avoid-or-kill-your-marriage-in-the-process/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/18/brad-pitts-children-want-him-to-be-a-man/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/18/brad-pitts-children-want-him-to-be-a-man/#comments Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:35:43 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3973 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/18/brad-pitts-children-want-him-to-be-a-man/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/16/successful-marriages-successful-lives/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/16/successful-marriages-successful-lives/#comments Mon, 16 Apr 2012 11:00:59 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3958 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/16/successful-marriages-successful-lives/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/11/the-mournful-state-of-cohabitation/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/11/the-mournful-state-of-cohabitation/#comments Wed, 11 Apr 2012 10:02:37 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3953 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/11/the-mournful-state-of-cohabitation/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/10/kurt-cobain-and-divorcing-parents-careful-the-kids-may-not-be-fine/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/10/kurt-cobain-and-divorcing-parents-careful-the-kids-may-not-be-fine/#comments Tue, 10 Apr 2012 11:20:23 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3947 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/10/kurt-cobain-and-divorcing-parents-careful-the-kids-may-not-be-fine/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/06/its-called-good-friday-for-a-reason/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/06/its-called-good-friday-for-a-reason/#comments Fri, 06 Apr 2012 12:06:43 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3943 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/06/its-called-good-friday-for-a-reason/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/05/maunday-thursday-meditation-give-thanks/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/05/maunday-thursday-meditation-give-thanks/#comments Thu, 05 Apr 2012 09:24:56 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3939 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/04/05/maunday-thursday-meditation-give-thanks/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/29/pick-me-up-surprise/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/29/pick-me-up-surprise/#comments Thu, 29 Mar 2012 09:28:18 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3928 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/29/pick-me-up-surprise/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/28/ask-dr-bing-podcast-14-series-part-4-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok-healing-from-the-sexuality-of-death-and-the-lies-of-uncle-bob/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/28/ask-dr-bing-podcast-14-series-part-4-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok-healing-from-the-sexuality-of-death-and-the-lies-of-uncle-bob/#comments Wed, 28 Mar 2012 19:38:20 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3895 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/28/ask-dr-bing-podcast-14-series-part-4-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok-healing-from-the-sexuality-of-death-and-the-lies-of-uncle-bob/feed/ 0 0:45:41 In this fourth podcast in the series “Is Perversion in the Marital Bed Ok?” Dr. Bing summarizes ways people can use to begin to heal if they have either been sexually abused by Uncle Bob or have been Uncle Bob to someone else before and/[...] In this fourth podcast in the series “Is Perversion in the Marital Bed Ok?” Dr. Bing summarizes ways people can use to begin to heal if they have either been sexually abused by Uncle Bob or have been Uncle Bob to someone else before and/or during their marriages. _____ One time I went through my current client load to see how many of my clients had struggles around sexuality of any kind (previous rape or abuse, porn, affairs, open marriage, same-sex attraction, bondage, sexual crimes, and hurts around frequency and initiation, etc.) and discovered 70% of my clients had these things in their past or current relationship.  That actually seems a little low!  Maybe we’ve all had hurts in this area in some ways.  Maybe it just wasn’t the presenting issue at the time my clients saw me. Sexuality is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity, but the world, the flesh and the Devil (what I’ve called Uncle Bob in this series of podcasts.  To see and hear all the podcasts and blogs in this series click here) have made it one of the most hurtful experiences and darkest of ways to keep God’s blessing and God himself away from us. You can scoff at the idea of God all you want, but the bottom line is you have no control over whether you can make yourself live another moment, let alone power to make it rain or cause a tomato to grow.  Every breath you take is God’s grace to you.  Every bird you hear sing, every flower you see bloom, every friendly smile and knowing look, every drop of rain is God’s grace to you. And whether you believe in God or not He infuses your marriage with spiritual joy and energy and pulses it with forgiveness and tenderness and connection and oneness and purpose every time you and your husband or wife engage in sexual oneness together.  God invented sexuality between a husband and wife, in part, to give you a tiny peek into the glories of heaven.  And He freely says to all of humanity, go, thou, and drink from the well of the Sexuality of Life.  He’s a very generous God.  None of us deserve any of it and yet… But Uncle Bob has come to us in many guises telling us sexuality in marriage between a husband and a wife is not enough.  You have to spice it up, kick it up, experiment with it, bring in other bodies of whatever gender, real or imagined, married or not, young or old, the more the merrier.  If sex in marriage between a husband and wife (I have to define that because Uncle Bob has lied to us all and told us marriage between a husband and wife is not necessary, it’s boring or bad or too exclusive a club, even discriminatory.  You’ve got to hand it to Uncle Bob: he’s pretty devious.) is a nice thing, imagine what could happen if we had this or this or this or this? It’s the same old lie that’s been around since the Garden of Eden.  “Hath God said?”  Who cares what He says?  He’s a fuddy-duddy trying to control you and hurt your style.  Why would God want to limit you?  You can’t eat from ALLLLLLLL the trees?  What’s the deal with that?  You think One God is enough?  Why not fill up the temple with one from every tribe and tongue and nation?  The more the merrier.  The recipe calls for butter, sugar and flour?  Kick it up!  Add bleach!  How about some poison?  How about a little horse manure?  There’s not enough variety in our sexuality.  More.  More.  More.  The leech has two daughters and cries, More, More, and never has enough.* The lie of the Sexuality of Death is the Sexuality of Life isn’t enough.  So Uncle Bob convinces us to pervert the universal generous gift of God to all humanity and turn it into a river of filth and darkness and hurt and trauma.  Her offspring are many and many are the throngs who have gone down her street.**  Uncle Bob is not content to ruin your life and tempt you to sin with your body in this way.  Uncle Bob wants to recruit you to be Uncle Bob to someone else. And thus we have the four ways Uncle Bob has introduced the Sexuality of Death into marriage between a husband[...] Perversion Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/26/more-than-one-reason-to-go-to-church/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/26/more-than-one-reason-to-go-to-church/#comments Mon, 26 Mar 2012 17:04:23 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3908 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/26/more-than-one-reason-to-go-to-church/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/20/peanuts-wisdom-3-to-every-kid-a-dog-and-a-banjo-and-a-mom-and-dad/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/20/peanuts-wisdom-3-to-every-kid-a-dog-and-a-banjo-and-a-mom-and-dad/#comments Tue, 20 Mar 2012 10:26:48 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3780 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/20/peanuts-wisdom-3-to-every-kid-a-dog-and-a-banjo-and-a-mom-and-dad/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/19/peanuts-wisdom-2-life-is-like-an-ice-cream-cone/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/19/peanuts-wisdom-2-life-is-like-an-ice-cream-cone/#comments Mon, 19 Mar 2012 15:22:47 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3748 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/19/peanuts-wisdom-2-life-is-like-an-ice-cream-cone/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/16/check-out-this-one-time-event-the-movie-monumental-march-27-2012/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/16/check-out-this-one-time-event-the-movie-monumental-march-27-2012/#comments Fri, 16 Mar 2012 10:36:37 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3820 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/16/check-out-this-one-time-event-the-movie-monumental-march-27-2012/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/15/peanuts-wisdom-1-learn-to-enjoy-today/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/15/peanuts-wisdom-1-learn-to-enjoy-today/#comments Thu, 15 Mar 2012 14:23:18 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3735 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/15/peanuts-wisdom-1-learn-to-enjoy-today/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/14/theres-no-such-thing-as-anal-sex/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/14/theres-no-such-thing-as-anal-sex/#comments Wed, 14 Mar 2012 11:23:09 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3767 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/14/theres-no-such-thing-as-anal-sex/feed/ 2 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/05/the-real-marriage-killer/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/05/the-real-marriage-killer/#comments Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:51:56 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3732 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/03/05/the-real-marriage-killer/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/29/ask-dr-bing-podcast-13-series-part-3-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok-the-sexuality-of-death-introducing-uncle-bob/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/29/ask-dr-bing-podcast-13-series-part-3-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok-the-sexuality-of-death-introducing-uncle-bob/#comments Wed, 29 Feb 2012 15:27:02 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3718 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/29/ask-dr-bing-podcast-13-series-part-3-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok-the-sexuality-of-death-introducing-uncle-bob/feed/ 0 0:52:16 In this third in a series of podcasts answering the question: “Is Perversion in the Marital Bed Ok?”, Dr. Bing discusses the ramifications of the Sexuality of Death and introduces Uncle Bob, that voice that tells us there’s no such[...] In this third in a series of podcasts answering the question: “Is Perversion in the Marital Bed Ok?”, Dr. Bing discusses the ramifications of the Sexuality of Death and introduces Uncle Bob, that voice that tells us there’s no such thing as perversion and it’s all totally fine. _____ Podcast #13 is a third in a series of podcasts answering the question, “Is perversion in the marital bed Ok?”  This question comes up because there are too many who believe that if we are married we can do what we want.  I’m hoping this podcast can address this false believe, because doing whatever you want in your marriage whether both of you want to do it or not can destroy the sense of security and trust between a husband and wife as well are reducing your own life to a loaf of bread. In the first in this series I explained the Three Boundaries that must be present for marriage and sexuality in marriage to be all it was intended to be and also highlighted the Four Purposes of Sex. You can find that podcast here. In the second podcast (available here) I explained the Four Aspects of Sex that make sexuality in marriage the Sexuality of Life.  I’d invite you to listen to those two podcasts as an introduction to this podcast. In Podcast #13 I explain how the Sexuality of Death counters the Sexuality of Life on all fronts and introduces hurt and fear and worry and selfishness and a whole host of other ills into your marriage or personal and relational life.  In short, it’s a mess and I don’t recommend it.  However the Sexuality of Death is all the rage in our society.  Society doesn’t call it the Sexuality of Death.  Society, others we know, including (sadly sometimes) our own spouse, and our own hearts taunt us with the Sexuality of Death in what I call the Voice of Uncle Bob (whom I introduce in this podcast).  You better get to know Uncle Bob so you can fight his lies. In addition to Uncle Bob, in this podcast I use several word pictures to portray what I mean by the Sexuality of Death:  I contrast it with The Mother Bear Instinct and Exclusivity in the Holy Temple.  I compare it to Rusting Car Parts in a Junk Yard and An Outhouse in a City Dump. A Cautionary NOTE: This podcast is rated R. If you have experimented with any of the activities I discuss in this podcast, please know you DON’T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY!  The key to healing from the devastating effects of these behaviors is to NOT DO THEM AGAIN!  I hope to explore the healing process in the fourth podcast in this series so stay tune!  In the meantime, don’t be afraid to give us a call and we’ll set up a time in our office to chat. I apologize for taking so long to continue this series.  The first one was in October and the 2nd in November!  I’ve tried several different times since to record this podcast, only to decide not to post it.  This topic is very dark and it is difficult to discuss.  I finally feel I’ve approached it in a way that can be heard.  I guess you’ll have to listen and hear for your yourself.  Your comments would be helpful.  Thanks in advance. abuse, Affairs, Boundaries, Perversion, Podcast, Selishness Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/27/dying-man-gets-a-last-chance/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/27/dying-man-gets-a-last-chance/#comments Mon, 27 Feb 2012 12:05:44 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3707 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/27/dying-man-gets-a-last-chance/feed/ 1 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/22/teaching-your-child-to-share/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/22/teaching-your-child-to-share/#comments Wed, 22 Feb 2012 13:29:48 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3525 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/22/teaching-your-child-to-share/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/20/lessons-on-marriage-and-life-i-learned-this-weekend/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/20/lessons-on-marriage-and-life-i-learned-this-weekend/#comments Mon, 20 Feb 2012 11:59:55 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3666 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/20/lessons-on-marriage-and-life-i-learned-this-weekend/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/17/family-meal-time-number-1/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/17/family-meal-time-number-1/#comments Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:35:41 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3527 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/17/family-meal-time-number-1/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/16/why-should-i-quit-porn/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/16/why-should-i-quit-porn/#comments Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:01:25 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3610 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/16/why-should-i-quit-porn/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/15/part-three-dickens-david-copperfield-on-the-family-birth-children-feeling-lost-in-stepfamilies/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/15/part-three-dickens-david-copperfield-on-the-family-birth-children-feeling-lost-in-stepfamilies/#comments Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:17:20 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3603 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/15/part-three-dickens-david-copperfield-on-the-family-birth-children-feeling-lost-in-stepfamilies/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/14/ask-dr-bing-podcast-12-what-if-my-spouse-wont-go-to-therapy/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/14/ask-dr-bing-podcast-12-what-if-my-spouse-wont-go-to-therapy/#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:57:24 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3586 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/14/ask-dr-bing-podcast-12-what-if-my-spouse-wont-go-to-therapy/feed/ 0 0:30:58 Dr. Bing answers the question in the Ask Dr. Bing Podcast #12: What If My Spouse Won’t Go to Therapy? _____ Marital therapy works best if both partners go together.  One partner might not want to go for various reasons, that I address in this [...] Dr. Bing answers the question in the Ask Dr. Bing Podcast #12: What If My Spouse Won’t Go to Therapy? _____ Marital therapy works best if both partners go together.  One partner might not want to go for various reasons, that I address in this podcast.  It’s pretty difficult for one partner to work on trust issues or communication issues or improving the relationship because all of these issues involve both of them.  I caution that if one spouse suggests we need to go to therapy that the two of them had better go!  You don’t want to come see us after thing have crashed and burned. If your spouse won’t come to therapy with you we’d suggest you come alone to see us.  One is better than none.  We’ll still make an effort to keep a positive view of marriage even if you’ve lost heart. However, with some therapists individual therapy can oftentimes lead to divorce because the therapist and the client talk about the absent spouse and a lot of biased assumptions are explored which is catagorically unfair because the other spouse isn’t there to give his or her point of view.  Marriage is made up of two minds, not one. You’ll also want to make sure you understand the values of the therapist you are seeking advice from.  At Heart to Heart we take a positive stance on marriage.  We’ll help you take one on yours. In this podcast I explore three objections to therapy: 1) We can solve our own problems. 2) I don’t want my spouse and the therapist to beat up on me. 3) Only wusses go to therapy.   Podcast Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/13/creative-idea-no-technology-tuesday/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/13/creative-idea-no-technology-tuesday/#comments Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:15:18 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3582 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/13/creative-idea-no-technology-tuesday/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/10/flaying-the-he-will-never-change-myth-forever/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/10/flaying-the-he-will-never-change-myth-forever/#comments Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:11:26 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3573 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/10/flaying-the-he-will-never-change-myth-forever/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/08/part-two-dickens-david-copperfield-on-the-family-jealousy-in-stepfamilies/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/08/part-two-dickens-david-copperfield-on-the-family-jealousy-in-stepfamilies/#comments Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:32:49 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3566 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/08/part-two-dickens-david-copperfield-on-the-family-jealousy-in-stepfamilies/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/07/fathers-are-not-natural-imbeciles/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/07/fathers-are-not-natural-imbeciles/#comments Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:53:58 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3535 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/07/fathers-are-not-natural-imbeciles/feed/ 1 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/01/new-series-lessons-on-family-life-from-charles-dickens-david-copperfield/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/01/new-series-lessons-on-family-life-from-charles-dickens-david-copperfield/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:46:57 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3503 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/02/01/new-series-lessons-on-family-life-from-charles-dickens-david-copperfield/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/31/why-it-can-be-hard-being-a-stay-at-home-parnet-a-historical-critique/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/31/why-it-can-be-hard-being-a-stay-at-home-parnet-a-historical-critique/#comments Tue, 31 Jan 2012 12:54:15 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3501 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/31/why-it-can-be-hard-being-a-stay-at-home-parnet-a-historical-critique/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/25/in-marriage-secrets-lies-in-cohabitation-secrets-well-ahh/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/25/in-marriage-secrets-lies-in-cohabitation-secrets-well-ahh/#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:29:36 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3491 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/25/in-marriage-secrets-lies-in-cohabitation-secrets-well-ahh/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/24/divorce-talk-and-veiled-threats/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/24/divorce-talk-and-veiled-threats/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2012 10:35:12 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3485 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/24/divorce-talk-and-veiled-threats/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/23/what-if-my-spouse-acted-like-me/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/23/what-if-my-spouse-acted-like-me/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:43:47 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3477 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/23/what-if-my-spouse-acted-like-me/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/18/stay-at-home-mom-and-stay-at-home-dad-self-image-booster-check-this-out/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/18/stay-at-home-mom-and-stay-at-home-dad-self-image-booster-check-this-out/#comments Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:57:49 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3468 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/18/stay-at-home-mom-and-stay-at-home-dad-self-image-booster-check-this-out/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/17/dating-idea-creative-dinner-at-home-tim-tebow-t-bone-bow-tie-mac-cheese-game-day-dinner/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/17/dating-idea-creative-dinner-at-home-tim-tebow-t-bone-bow-tie-mac-cheese-game-day-dinner/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 11:40:00 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3459 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/17/dating-idea-creative-dinner-at-home-tim-tebow-t-bone-bow-tie-mac-cheese-game-day-dinner/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/16/dating-idea-dr-bing-breaks-world-record-on-cheap-date-idea/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/16/dating-idea-dr-bing-breaks-world-record-on-cheap-date-idea/#comments Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:13:52 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3449 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/16/dating-idea-dr-bing-breaks-world-record-on-cheap-date-idea/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/13/pick-me-up-finally-a-postive-article-about-tim-tebow/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/13/pick-me-up-finally-a-postive-article-about-tim-tebow/#comments Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:42:55 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3445 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/13/pick-me-up-finally-a-postive-article-about-tim-tebow/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/13/dr-bing-brags-a-little-sorry-about-his-son-jeff/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/13/dr-bing-brags-a-little-sorry-about-his-son-jeff/#comments Fri, 13 Jan 2012 11:56:44 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3393 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/13/dr-bing-brags-a-little-sorry-about-his-son-jeff/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/12/you-want-a-great-marriage-be-a-great-person-yourself/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/12/you-want-a-great-marriage-be-a-great-person-yourself/#comments Thu, 12 Jan 2012 11:46:58 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3426 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/12/you-want-a-great-marriage-be-a-great-person-yourself/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/11/ask-dr-bing-podcast-11-how-can-i-help-my-children-calm-down-interview-with-brandon-wall-m-a/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/11/ask-dr-bing-podcast-11-how-can-i-help-my-children-calm-down-interview-with-brandon-wall-m-a/#comments Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:21:08 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3400 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/11/ask-dr-bing-podcast-11-how-can-i-help-my-children-calm-down-interview-with-brandon-wall-m-a/feed/ 0 0:35:55 Dr. Bing Wall interviews his son, Brandon, about the question of how to help our children learn delayed gratification and to calm down when they are upset. We live in a day where parents seem to tremble at the feet of their children.  Unfortunately[...] Dr. Bing Wall interviews his son, Brandon, about the question of how to help our children learn delayed gratification and to calm down when they are upset. We live in a day where parents seem to tremble at the feet of their children.  Unfortunately, we are not helping our children at all when we continually let them get their way or we let their mood determine the overall mood of the family.  No.  Mom and Dad are to set the tone, not the children.  We instinctively know this, yet so many of us have a difficult time knowing what to do or how to follow through consistently. When we fail to do this the mood in our household tumbles and many couples end up struggling in their own relationships.  It is difficult for the rest of the members of the family to relax when a child is too often out of control. In addition, we do a disservice to our children when we let them get away with being out of control.  We all know adults who have no consideration of others and demand to get their way and make everyone around them miserable. We certainly don’t want our children to be in that number!  You can help nurture and shape your childrens’ future adult personality NOW by the consistency with which you parent your children. That means you need self-control, too!  YIKES!  We can’t hardly teach our children self-control if we don’t have it.  You teach self-control mostly, not by fancy techniques, but by being consistent in your leadership with your children. For this podcast I interview my son, Brandon Wall, who is our Staff Researcher and a regular blog writer for our thrivingcouples website (Check out his research summaries here and his blogs here), about some creative ways he and his wife, Philly, have  developed to help their two children (Alyas – 3 and 1/2 and Lydia 1 and 1/2) learn self-control and self-comfort. This interview addresses how to teach your children what they are going to need to succeed in life, how to calm themselves down, and that the parent is in control. Briefly put, Brandon took some cues from research he alludes to in the podcast from the University of Stanford (here) on how to help children delay gratification.  He’s tried these same techniques with his own children with good results.  In addition, Brandon has invented a technique he refers to as The Cry Corner, which he’s shared in a previous blog (available here). This is an effective way to help children learn self-control and self-comfort and to establish the parent as the authority in the home.  He also discusses a gentle, but firm way to help parents re-establish their authority when a child is absolutely out of control. As one of the grandparents of these beautiful children, I can vouch that being in their presence is an absolute delight and that Brandon and Philly have figured out how to have a joyful home without anyone feeling dominated or short-changed.  Having a peaceful home is a wonderful gift to your spouse and to your children.  You’d do well to heed Brandon and Philly’s example. This podcast is our first attempt using an interview style.  We hope to do more of this in the future.  We think having two generations (father and son) involved in our Blogs and Podcasts may be an effective tool to helping a greater number of couples of all ages improve in their relationships and develop stronger, happier families. We welcome your input and further questions about this topic and other issues you are facing in your marriage (fill out the form you can find here.).  In these podcasts we are trying to answer questions you might find helpful in making your marriage and family a safe refuge in a cruel world. Podcast Outline: How to help children learn delayed gratification (at minute 2:30) . How to use the Cry Corner to help children calm down when they are crying for selfish reasons.  How to use the technique, when use it and some of the pitfalls (at minute 11:22). Using embracing as a restraint when a [...] Parenting, Podcast Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/10/teaching-a-child-a-principle-of-success-thinking-outside-the-box/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/10/teaching-a-child-a-principle-of-success-thinking-outside-the-box/#comments Tue, 10 Jan 2012 16:40:34 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3347 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/10/teaching-a-child-a-principle-of-success-thinking-outside-the-box/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/05/two-minute-marital-pick-me-up-a-schedule-for-your-winter-getaway-30-hours-to-regenerate-your-marriage/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/05/two-minute-marital-pick-me-up-a-schedule-for-your-winter-getaway-30-hours-to-regenerate-your-marriage/#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:11:54 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3330 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/05/two-minute-marital-pick-me-up-a-schedule-for-your-winter-getaway-30-hours-to-regenerate-your-marriage/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/04/two-minute-marital-pick-me-up-plan-your-winter-getaway-now/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/04/two-minute-marital-pick-me-up-plan-your-winter-getaway-now/#comments Wed, 04 Jan 2012 10:20:14 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3324 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/04/two-minute-marital-pick-me-up-plan-your-winter-getaway-now/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/03/dating-series-dr-bing-and-brandons-exchange-on-couples-having-a-date-at-home/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/03/dating-series-dr-bing-and-brandons-exchange-on-couples-having-a-date-at-home/#comments Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:34:28 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3310 http://thrivingcouples.com/2012/01/03/dating-series-dr-bing-and-brandons-exchange-on-couples-having-a-date-at-home/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/30/it-takes-two-to-tangle/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/30/it-takes-two-to-tangle/#comments Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:21:15 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3303 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/30/it-takes-two-to-tangle/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/29/why-your-children-are-not-responding-to-discipline/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/29/why-your-children-are-not-responding-to-discipline/#comments Thu, 29 Dec 2011 16:19:19 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3264 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/29/why-your-children-are-not-responding-to-discipline/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/28/giving-your-conscience-a-chance/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/28/giving-your-conscience-a-chance/#comments Wed, 28 Dec 2011 15:31:14 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3242 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/28/giving-your-conscience-a-chance/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/27/series-dating-idea-challenging-the-traditional-understanding-of-what-a-date-is/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/27/series-dating-idea-challenging-the-traditional-understanding-of-what-a-date-is/#comments Tue, 27 Dec 2011 20:27:25 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3211 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/27/series-dating-idea-challenging-the-traditional-understanding-of-what-a-date-is/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/13/dating-idea-in-search-for-the-best-thin-crust-pizza-in-central-iowa/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/13/dating-idea-in-search-for-the-best-thin-crust-pizza-in-central-iowa/#comments Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:23:35 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2998 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/13/dating-idea-in-search-for-the-best-thin-crust-pizza-in-central-iowa/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/12/how-to-make-change-last-for-good/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/12/how-to-make-change-last-for-good/#comments Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:06:56 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3161 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/12/how-to-make-change-last-for-good/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/08/definition-of-an-affair-clarification/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/08/definition-of-an-affair-clarification/#comments Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:04:06 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3157 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/08/definition-of-an-affair-clarification/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/07/herman-cain-and-the-definition-of-an-affair/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/07/herman-cain-and-the-definition-of-an-affair/#comments Wed, 07 Dec 2011 13:06:49 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3147 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/12/07/herman-cain-and-the-definition-of-an-affair/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/17/podcast-10-series-part-two-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok-the-four-aspects-of-sex/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/17/podcast-10-series-part-two-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok-the-four-aspects-of-sex/#comments Thu, 17 Nov 2011 11:54:35 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3001 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/17/podcast-10-series-part-two-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok-the-four-aspects-of-sex/feed/ 0 0:33:26 Dr. Bing Wall continues his series of podcasts on the topic: “Is Perversion in the Marital Bed Ok?” by discussing in more detail the Sexuality of Life.  He says there are Four Aspects to Sex in marriage in order for sexuality to be all i[...] Dr. Bing Wall continues his series of podcasts on the topic: “Is Perversion in the Marital Bed Ok?” by discussing in more detail the Sexuality of Life.  He says there are Four Aspects to Sex in marriage in order for sexuality to be all it was meant to be.  Anything other than this will be result in perversion, chaos and the Sexuality of Death. _____ Before I go into an argument against allowing perversion in the marital bed in answer to the belief that since we are married, we can do whatever we want, I need to establish what is honorable, good and desirable in marital sexuality.  If we know what God intended sexuality to be we can spot the counterfeit right away.  In these first two podcasts in the “Perversion” series I’m giving my explanation of the Sexuality of Life.  In future podcasts I’ll unpack the Sexuality of Death. In this podcast I review what I covered in the first podcast that marriage is designed by God as the building block of society.  The verse from the Bible (repeated in Genesis, by Jesus in the Gospels and by Paul) gives us the foundation of marriage: For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two will become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 This verse lays out for us Three Boundaries that must be respected for marriage (and therefore, sexuality) to thrive: 1. LEAVING: A Boundary of Protection 2. CLEAVING: A Boundary of Exclusivity 3. BECOMING: A Boundary of Life Marriage provides the context for sexuality to be all it was meant to be.  Marriage is like a precious vessel and sexuality a priceless ointment that must be stored in the precious vessel.  There is only one vessel that can hold this priceless ointment.  To break the vessel (divorce), to say the vessel is unnecessary (cohabitation), to say any vessel will do and the precious vessel is discriminatory (same-sex), to say we should mix in other ingredients into the priceless ointment (S & M, bondage, porn, fantasy, role-play, etc.) or we can have other ointments in the precious vessel (open marriage) all pervert the blessing God intended sexuality to be (the Sexuality of Life).  If we do any of these sexuality doesn’t just become a different flavor.  It becomes the Sexuality of Death and will destroy not only your life but your marriage, your family and society as we know it. I go on in the introduction to suggest that The Sexuality of Life has FOUR PURPOSES: 1. Birthing and nurturing the next generation with children’s original birth parents. 2. Providing spiritual oneness between a husband and a wife It might be tempting to stop there, but God gives us way more sexual energy then you can possibly spend on making babies and becoming one with your husband or wife!  This leads to the two other purposes of The Sexuality of Life: 3. Channeling your sexual energy into creativity and work to be a blessing to your family, your community and the world at large and 4. Moving our spirits toward God in worship. What do we do instead?  Our society shouts from the mountaintops that if you have a sexual desire of whatever stripe or flavor that this is who you are and it is fine to act out on these desires, that these desires entitle you to certain rights and should be blessed by governmental law, that no boundaries are necessary or the boundaries can be redefined until they are absolutely unrecognizable or they can be ignored or scoffed or stretched or thrown away or stomped on in the sewer and to go for all the gusto and do whatever you want and there will be NO BILL TO PAY…EVER.  It’s just you, baby!  Pleasure here we come.  But this takes us directly through the doorway to the Sexuality of Death. I then introduce in this podcast the nature of marital sexuality, what the Sexuality of Life actually should look and feel like.  I suggest it has FOUR ASPECTS.  You should ask yourself, if you are married, if the sexuality between you and your spouse looks like these th[...] Boundaries, Perversion, Podcast Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/16/gentlemen-improve-your-marriage-by-improving-yourself/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/16/gentlemen-improve-your-marriage-by-improving-yourself/#comments Wed, 16 Nov 2011 14:59:32 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3104 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/16/gentlemen-improve-your-marriage-by-improving-yourself/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/08/effects-of-fatherless-children/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/08/effects-of-fatherless-children/#comments Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:48:25 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3056 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/08/effects-of-fatherless-children/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/07/the-tragedy-of-the-american-dad/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/07/the-tragedy-of-the-american-dad/#comments Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:08:42 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3039 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/07/the-tragedy-of-the-american-dad/feed/ 1 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/02/do-as-i-say-not-as-i-due/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/02/do-as-i-say-not-as-i-due/#comments Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:53:11 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=3017 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/11/02/do-as-i-say-not-as-i-due/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/31/seriesdating-ideas-fall-2011-bicycling-in-central-iowa/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/31/seriesdating-ideas-fall-2011-bicycling-in-central-iowa/#comments Mon, 31 Oct 2011 17:48:31 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2979 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/31/seriesdating-ideas-fall-2011-bicycling-in-central-iowa/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/27/podcast-9-series-part-1-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/27/podcast-9-series-part-1-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok/#comments Thu, 27 Oct 2011 20:59:39 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2975 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/27/podcast-9-series-part-1-is-perversion-in-the-marital-bed-ok/feed/ 0 0:40:09 Dr. Bing starts a new podcast series answering the question “Is Perversion in the Marital Bed Ok?”  In this introductory podcast, he looks at the purpose of marriage and sexuality, which he defines as the “Sexuality of Life.”[...] Dr. Bing starts a new podcast series answering the question “Is Perversion in the Marital Bed Ok?”  In this introductory podcast, he looks at the purpose of marriage and sexuality, which he defines as the “Sexuality of Life.”  In this series he will contrast the Sexuality of Life with Perversion and the Sexuality of Death. _____ Welcome to this new series of podcasts answering the question, “Is Perversion in the Marital Bed Ok?”  In particular we will be looking at such things as pornography, S & M, bondage, open marriage, same-sex, fantasy and anal sex.  Should these and other similar behaviors be part of sexuality in our marriage?  This question is coming up more and more in my therapy office, which is both sad and not surprising given the deterioration of our public morality in society today.  It is only a matter of time before people embrace these things in the privacy of their own homes to their own peril. The question this series is addressing arises out of the belief that “We can do anything we want in the marital bed as long as we both agree.”  I very strongly disagree with this statement and will try to give a coherent response to it.  Whether I succeed or not is another story! One person in particular has asked me to give a Christian response to this question as he has asked several pastors about this issue and hasn’t felt they gave him an answer that addressed his concerns.  I was a pastor earlier in my career and now that I’ve worked with 1000′s of couples and have heard and addressed the rationalizations many times, I hope I can add some insight into this important question. If you are not a Christian, you can still benefit from my discussion of the issue and I hope you will give these podcasts a go. This podcast (#9) is the first in a series.  It’s a pretty involved topic and I wanted to give it the attention it deserves.  I’ve struggled for a couple of months on this and have been thinking about it for some time.  Initially I taped a couple of podcasts on it, but after Brandon Wall (Staff Researcher here at Heart to Heart) and I listened to them we decided they both started out too dark and we needed to begin from a more positive footing.  Today’s podcast is an effort to do that. The overall structure of the podcast series will be to contrast the Sexuality of Life with the Sexuality of Death.  The first two podcasts in the series will look at the Sexuality of Life.  This podcast today will define the word Perversion and explain The Three Boundaries of Marriage and The Four Purposes of Sex.  The second in this series will look at the the Four Essential Ingredients of Marital Sex.   Then, in the third and following podcasts in the series I will contrast the Sexuality of Life with the Sexuality of Death and conclude that you can’t mix the Sexuality of Life with the Sexuality of Death without the Sexuality of Life becoming the Sexuality of Death.  It’s not the other way around.  The Sexuality of Life does not make the Sexuality of Death become the Sexuality of Life.  Any effort to bring perversion into the marriage will only breed insecurity, mistrust, heartache, doubt, fear, manipulation, control, abuse, distance, anger, despair, and, if we aren’t careful, the death of the relationship altogether. I’m sorry this is such a dark topic.  But I must address it.  My hope is to give those who are struggling with these temptations the spiritual and intellectual resources they need to overcome them.  I am sure that those who think these behaviors are fine will not be persuaded and will continue down their personal road of destruction.  They probably wouldn’t listen to this material in the first place!  I’m not worried about detractors.  I’m hoping those who struggle with these things and are looking for resources will find some places to start here. One of the podcasts in this series will b[...] Perversion, Podcast Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/18/series-dating-ideas-lauritzen-gardens-omaha-ne/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/18/series-dating-ideas-lauritzen-gardens-omaha-ne/#comments Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:22:00 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2962 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/18/series-dating-ideas-lauritzen-gardens-omaha-ne/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/17/we-are-this-desperate/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/17/we-are-this-desperate/#comments Mon, 17 Oct 2011 21:51:14 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2950 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/17/we-are-this-desperate/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/13/series-dating-ideas-fall-2011-boone-iowa-the-scenic-railway-and-ledges-state-park/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/13/series-dating-ideas-fall-2011-boone-iowa-the-scenic-railway-and-ledges-state-park/#comments Thu, 13 Oct 2011 18:19:49 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2917 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/13/series-dating-ideas-fall-2011-boone-iowa-the-scenic-railway-and-ledges-state-park/feed/ 1 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/12/new-series-dating-ideas-fall-2011/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/12/new-series-dating-ideas-fall-2011/#comments Wed, 12 Oct 2011 18:50:41 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2910 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/12/new-series-dating-ideas-fall-2011/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/10/seriesdating-ideas-summer-2011-triathlon/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/10/seriesdating-ideas-summer-2011-triathlon/#comments Mon, 10 Oct 2011 17:28:51 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2897 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/10/seriesdating-ideas-summer-2011-triathlon/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/06/series-dating-ideas-summer-2011-taylors-maid-rite-marshalltown-iowa/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/06/series-dating-ideas-summer-2011-taylors-maid-rite-marshalltown-iowa/#comments Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:08:53 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2732 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/06/series-dating-ideas-summer-2011-taylors-maid-rite-marshalltown-iowa/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/05/thriving-couples-update/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/05/thriving-couples-update/#comments Wed, 05 Oct 2011 21:18:19 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2877 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/05/thriving-couples-update/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/03/toddler-tactic-for-fussing/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/03/toddler-tactic-for-fussing/#comments Mon, 03 Oct 2011 14:53:34 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2857 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/10/03/toddler-tactic-for-fussing/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/09/28/familes-without-fathers/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/09/28/familes-without-fathers/#comments Wed, 28 Sep 2011 14:54:22 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2735 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/09/28/familes-without-fathers/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/09/21/series-dating-ideas-summer-2011-lanesboro-minnesota/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/09/21/series-dating-ideas-summer-2011-lanesboro-minnesota/#comments Wed, 21 Sep 2011 20:50:44 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2674 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/09/21/series-dating-ideas-summer-2011-lanesboro-minnesota/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/09/20/the-need-to-teach-your-childern-right-from-wrong/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/09/20/the-need-to-teach-your-childern-right-from-wrong/#comments Tue, 20 Sep 2011 15:46:08 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2678 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/09/20/the-need-to-teach-your-childern-right-from-wrong/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/23/dr-bing-wall-formally-introduces-the-thriving-couples-model/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/23/dr-bing-wall-formally-introduces-the-thriving-couples-model/#comments Tue, 23 Aug 2011 16:30:51 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2563 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/23/dr-bing-wall-formally-introduces-the-thriving-couples-model/feed/ 0 0:58:57 Dr. Bing Wall formally introduces the Thriving Couples Model to the public at large today in a podcast, graphic, chart and narrative explanation. The Model helps couples and marital therapists understand where they are as a couple and where the cou[...] Dr. Bing Wall formally introduces the Thriving Couples Model to the public at large today in a podcast, graphic, chart and narrative explanation. The Model helps couples and marital therapists understand where they are as a couple and where the couple needs to start in the healing process to become a healthy, strong marital couple. Communication, Feelings, Happiness, Integrity, Parenting, Podcast, Trust Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/23/a-brief-explanation-of-the-thriving-couples-model-living-as-roommates-vs-husbands-and-wives/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/23/a-brief-explanation-of-the-thriving-couples-model-living-as-roommates-vs-husbands-and-wives/#comments Tue, 23 Aug 2011 15:51:55 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2658 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/23/a-brief-explanation-of-the-thriving-couples-model-living-as-roommates-vs-husbands-and-wives/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/22/thrivingcouples-com-appears-in-on-line-training-video/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/22/thrivingcouples-com-appears-in-on-line-training-video/#comments Mon, 22 Aug 2011 22:05:27 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2654 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/22/thrivingcouples-com-appears-in-on-line-training-video/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/18/why-happiness-is-going-to-be-hard-for-the-next-generation-and-mine/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/18/why-happiness-is-going-to-be-hard-for-the-next-generation-and-mine/#comments Thu, 18 Aug 2011 20:22:37 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2609 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/18/why-happiness-is-going-to-be-hard-for-the-next-generation-and-mine/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/01/ask-dr-bing-podcast-7-what-is-our-approach-to-marital-therapy/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/01/ask-dr-bing-podcast-7-what-is-our-approach-to-marital-therapy/#comments Mon, 01 Aug 2011 23:32:24 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2535 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/08/01/ask-dr-bing-podcast-7-what-is-our-approach-to-marital-therapy/feed/ 0 0:28:08 Dr. Bing answers the question of what is our approach to marital therapy. We use a mentoring-coaching method that encourages couples to learn from their mistakes and to try new things. In addition, Dr. Bing specializes in couple work and believes [...] Dr. Bing answers the question of what is our approach to marital therapy. We use a mentoring-coaching method that encourages couples to learn from their mistakes and to try new things. In addition, Dr. Bing specializes in couple work and believes in the intrinsic value of marriage. Podcast Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/25/what-about-the-mistresses/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/25/what-about-the-mistresses/#comments Mon, 25 Jul 2011 18:16:51 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2519 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/25/what-about-the-mistresses/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/20/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children-and-parents/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/20/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children-and-parents/#comments Thu, 21 Jul 2011 02:21:45 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2481 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/20/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children-and-parents/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/19/series-dating-ideas-summer-2011-rochester-and-mantorville-minnesota/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/19/series-dating-ideas-summer-2011-rochester-and-mantorville-minnesota/#comments Tue, 19 Jul 2011 15:51:29 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2428 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/19/series-dating-ideas-summer-2011-rochester-and-mantorville-minnesota/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/18/the-tyranny-of-indifference/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/18/the-tyranny-of-indifference/#comments Mon, 18 Jul 2011 17:46:45 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2424 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/18/the-tyranny-of-indifference/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/14/ask-dr-bing-podcast-6-dr-bing-walls-story-why-he-became-a-marriage-therapist/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/14/ask-dr-bing-podcast-6-dr-bing-walls-story-why-he-became-a-marriage-therapist/#comments Thu, 14 Jul 2011 14:37:57 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2409 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/07/14/ask-dr-bing-podcast-6-dr-bing-walls-story-why-he-became-a-marriage-therapist/feed/ 0 0:48:10 Dr. Bing answers the question why he became a marriage therapist in this lastest podcast from “Ask Dr. Bing.” _____ Not everyone cares about the background of their therapist, but for those that do, I explain a little of my journey from[...] Dr. Bing answers the question why he became a marriage therapist in this lastest podcast from “Ask Dr. Bing.” _____ Not everyone cares about the background of their therapist, but for those that do, I explain a little of my journey from being a pastor and youth pastor for 15 years to going back to graduate school at age 42 with 4 children to study and prepare to become a marriage therapist. The style of this podcast is a bit different.  I record the podcast on a walk in the early morning.  You can hear the birds in the background and I’m talking like you and I are just chatting.  It’s a lot more informal than the other podcasts to date. One of the authors that had a huge impact upon me was Dr. Francis Schaeffer.  I refer to him in this podcast.  I read most of his books in the early 70′s.  The ones that impacted me the most with their links are the following: The God Who Is There Genesis in Space and Time And True Spirituality. I refer also to the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible and Solomon’s statement that there is a time and a place for everything under the sun.  Knowing when to talk about things and knowing when NOT to is wisdom.  You can read the original passage here. A book that helped me through my midlife “crisis” was The Season’s of a Man’s Life by Daniel Levinson.  It was recommended to me by my counselor at the time.  I ended up reading it twice.  After reading it I realized I wasn’t crazy after all and I needed to be proactive about the rest of my life and how I used my time.  I ended up preparing for a whole new career.  This podcast tells a little of that journey. Calling, Podcast Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/29/series-dating-idea-summer-2011-downtown-cedar-falls/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/29/series-dating-idea-summer-2011-downtown-cedar-falls/#comments Wed, 29 Jun 2011 14:57:33 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2377 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/29/series-dating-idea-summer-2011-downtown-cedar-falls/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/27/i-forgot-to-see/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/27/i-forgot-to-see/#comments Mon, 27 Jun 2011 17:30:40 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2360 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/27/i-forgot-to-see/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/24/ask-dr-bing-podcast-5-what-if-we-disagree-about-texting-others/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/24/ask-dr-bing-podcast-5-what-if-we-disagree-about-texting-others/#comments Fri, 24 Jun 2011 22:44:25 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2352 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/24/ask-dr-bing-podcast-5-what-if-we-disagree-about-texting-others/feed/ 0 0:43:30 In Dr. Bing’s latest podcast he addresses three questions: What if we disagree about texting others, how to handle feeling the relationship is unfair and can a person ever heal after finding out one’s spouse had an affair. _____ Welcome [...] In Dr. Bing’s latest podcast he addresses three questions: What if we disagree about texting others, how to handle feeling the relationship is unfair and can a person ever heal after finding out one’s spouse had an affair. _____ Welcome to the 5th Ask Dr. Bing Podcast.  I finally figured out how to use the microphone for this deal and as a result, the quality of this podcast is much better than the previous four.  In addition, I’m starting to receive some questions from listeners, clients, friends and blog readers and that helps the structure of the podcast and also makes it easier to produce. My thanks goes out to my son, Marty, who coached my on the Intro.  I was a little stilted on previous podcasts and he suggested I lighten up and talk it rather than read it.  I think the intro is much better now. This is a work in progress.  It gets easier as I get the hang of the technical side.  I also have to get used to talking 40 minutes straight.  I used to do that years ago when I was a pastor, usually several times a week.  But I haven’t done that for a while.  Hopefully, these will improve as we go.  Thanks for your patience. I tackle three questions today.  In the first about “What if we disagree about texting others?” is a follow up to the previous podcast about sexting.  Texting is a tamed down version of sexting, but it still leads to trouble if we don’t keep appropriate boundaries.  We’re all vulnerable to temptation.  Why tempt yourself?  Life is hard enough already.  I look at the arguments people use to justify texting others of the opposite sex while they are married and give another view. The second question asks about what to do if a person feels they are giving and giving and giving to their spouse and seemingly get nothing in return. It’s too easier in our impatient society to give up.  I suggest some ways to look at this issue.  I refer to a book, called The 5 Love Languages.  You can click on the title of the book for more information.  If you haven’t read that book it needs to be on your ASAP list.  Mary Sue and I read this book after our first year of marriage and it helped us tremendously.  It’s still in print and is a marriage classic all couples must read. The third question asks about healing after discovering one’s spouse has had an affair.  When someone finds this out for the first time it is pretty traumatic and feels like the despair and heartache will never end.  But I explain there is healing for couples as long as the affair is over and the couple can talk about it alone and with a professional to work through the pain and introduce the couple to being forthright with each other going forward.  Many couples come out stronger after an affair if it’s handled right. This week my wife, Mary Sue, and I, celebrate our 36 wedding anniversary.  I give a tribute to her on my podcast around minute 4.  I invite you to listen to that.  I say one of the main reasons I’m working with couples is because of the great relationship that we have.   Affairs, Boundaries, Facebook, Feelings, Love, Podcast, Sexting, Texting Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/23/more-caution-about-online-dating/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/23/more-caution-about-online-dating/#comments Thu, 23 Jun 2011 12:58:12 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2348 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/23/more-caution-about-online-dating/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/16/smiling-right-back/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/16/smiling-right-back/#comments Thu, 16 Jun 2011 09:45:46 +0000 Brandon Wall http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2336 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/16/smiling-right-back/feed/ 1 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/15/pornography-texting-sexting-emailing-chatting-cell-phone-calls-to-someone-else-and-marriage/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/15/pornography-texting-sexting-emailing-chatting-cell-phone-calls-to-someone-else-and-marriage/#comments Wed, 15 Jun 2011 19:13:19 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2329 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/15/pornography-texting-sexting-emailing-chatting-cell-phone-calls-to-someone-else-and-marriage/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/11/ask-dr-bing-podcast-4-is-sexting-wrong/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/11/ask-dr-bing-podcast-4-is-sexting-wrong/#comments Sat, 11 Jun 2011 15:50:21 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2296 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/11/ask-dr-bing-podcast-4-is-sexting-wrong/feed/ 0 0:53:26 Dr. Bing’s Podcast # 4 deals with the question raised by Rep. Anthony Weiner’s recent actions: Is Sexting Wrong?  He points out why this behavior is hurtful and how to heal from it.  He also advocates we harness our left over sexual ener[...] Dr. Bing’s Podcast # 4 deals with the question raised by Rep. Anthony Weiner’s recent actions: Is Sexting Wrong?  He points out why this behavior is hurtful and how to heal from it.  He also advocates we harness our left over sexual energy for good. Don’t worry.  In this podcast I’m not going to belittle Rep. Anthony Weiner’s recent public confession of his using the internet to contact other women and text them unseemly things.  I’m using his situation to comment on breaking boundaries in marriage in general and the hurtful effect this can have on both the partner doing it and the partner who confesses.  I also contrast two world-views: one that leads to a Sexuality of Life and one that leads to a Sexuality of Death.  We all have left over sexual energy.  What you do with it is what matters! Affairs, Podcast, Selishness, Sexting, Trust Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/09/cohabiting-and-money-roommates-inc/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/09/cohabiting-and-money-roommates-inc/#comments Thu, 09 Jun 2011 09:09:37 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2288 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/09/cohabiting-and-money-roommates-inc/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/08/is-sexting-cheating/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/08/is-sexting-cheating/#comments Wed, 08 Jun 2011 08:35:58 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2280 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/08/is-sexting-cheating/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/07/ask-dr-bing-podcast-3-can-lost-feelings-of-love-be-restored/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/07/ask-dr-bing-podcast-3-can-lost-feelings-of-love-be-restored/#comments Tue, 07 Jun 2011 13:09:33 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2269 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/07/ask-dr-bing-podcast-3-can-lost-feelings-of-love-be-restored/feed/ 0 0:45:51 In this podcast (#3) Dr. Bing addresses the question, can lost feelings of love be restored?  Listen in as Dr. Bing addresses this common concern. _____ In addition, Dr. Bing compares a couple who keeps their money separate with a couple (to see th[...] In this podcast (#3) Dr. Bing addresses the question, can lost feelings of love be restored?  Listen in as Dr. Bing addresses this common concern. _____ In addition, Dr. Bing compares a couple who keeps their money separate with a couple (to see the original blog post that he quotes from click here) that keeps their money together.  The difference is startling.  He also suggests we get creative in handling a tough situation instead of just assuming there are only two options (divorce or a miserable marriage) based upon a story told in Dan Miller’s book No More Mondays.  In closing he shares a listener’s suggestions for overcoming chronic illness in marriage in response to Dr. Bing’s attempt to address that question on his first podcast (see here).  For the weekly date idea he introduces the Old Market District in Downtown Omaha* and Downtown Cedar Falls, one of twelve downtowns recognized nationwide  as a Great American Main Street. * Note: With the flooding in Omaha and Council Bluffs as we go to press, you may want to check to make sure the district is open before you go! Feelings, Happiness, Love, Podcast Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/01/announcing-ask-dr-bing-now-on-itunes/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/01/announcing-ask-dr-bing-now-on-itunes/#comments Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:00:05 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2264 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/06/01/announcing-ask-dr-bing-now-on-itunes/feed/ 0 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/05/28/what-are-the-consequences-of-an-affair/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/05/28/what-are-the-consequences-of-an-affair/#comments Sat, 28 May 2011 16:22:02 +0000 admin http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2244 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/05/28/what-are-the-consequences-of-an-affair/feed/ 0 0:47:20 Dr. Bing presents his second podcast, commenting on recent affairs in the news and their numerous unintended consequences (John Edwards’s possible felony conviction, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s secret child, Marathon Olympian’s uninten[...] Dr. Bing presents his second podcast, commenting on recent affairs in the news and their numerous unintended consequences (John Edwards’s possible felony conviction, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s secret child, Marathon Olympian’s unintended or intended (?) death at 24).  Integrity seems a better way to go.  He also looks at cohabitation and how to deal with in-laws.       ______ Welcome to our second podcast.  I’m trying to do these once a week on Friday, but have a few bugs to work out!  Today I compare the view of living together outside marriage in Jane Austen’s day (early 1800′s) as expressed in her book Pride and Prejudice versus our view of cohabitation today.  Our cavalier attitude we have about sexuality outside marriage is not far away from having an affair in general (both involve sex with someone you are not married to) has lead to more affairs with devastating effects upon more than just the people involved: the immediate family, the extended family, colleagues, and society in general.  I compare the dire consequences of an affair (looking at three well known affairs in the news in recent weeks) with integrity and find integrity a better option.  In addition, I answer a blog reader’s question about how to deal with in-laws. I’m still pretty new at this so I apologize in advance for too many ahh’s and you knows on the podcast.  It’ll probably take me a while to get used to this!  Still, welcome aboard and I hope you are encouraged in your marriage to keep your integrity and dignity from this day forward! Please send me your questions about marriage to be answered on the podcast, as well as dating ideas (if you include pics and commentary I’ll feature them on a blog) and stories of overcoming obstacles in your marriage!  Click here for the form. Affairs, Integrity, Podcast Dr. Bing Wall no no http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/05/27/dating-idea-des-moines-farmers-market-part-two/ http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/05/27/dating-idea-des-moines-farmers-market-part-two/#comments Fri, 27 May 2011 16:58:52 +0000 Dr. Bing http://thrivingcouples.com/?p=2220 http://thrivingcouples.com/2011/05/27/dating-idea-des-moines-farmers-market-part-two/feed/ 0