The Number One Thing Children Need: A Mom and Dad Who Love Each Other
Finally, I found a blog online with which I agree. A mom, who’s a blogger, wrote she loves her husband more than her children.
Yes and Yes.
Most people error the other way. They love their kids more than their spouse. This tells the children the children are the priority and the other parent is down the list.
This “structure” of the home causes kids to feel insecure.
Every child looks into his mom and dad’s eyes to see if the two of them are looking at each other lovingly or with hostility. If with love, their hearts are secure. If hostile or indifferent, their hearts get anxious.
When they are anxious they act out. When they act out parents enter the mix and often even end up fighting with each other about how to parent their anxious children! And the hostility continues! AHHHHH!!
If I have parents that come to see me with children problems, I usually beg off and ask for a little patience to approach that subject, suggesting instead we work on the marriage first.
Over and over again I hear from parents who are now treating each other as lovers and spouses first, who tell me as the two of them got along better, the children starting settling down. I rarely have to go over parenting issues!
Mom and dad set the tone.
If mom and dad, excuse me. If the husband and wife are fine, the kids will be fine.
Of course, it’s not just mom’s who need to put their husbands first. Husbands need to put their wives first, also.
Sadly, the parents who put their children first often end up divorced, which is the most destructive thing for children. Start tending to your spouse for the sake of your children!
Here’s the blogger I found who actually confessed this is how she operates, much to the scorn of most everyone except her children, and, no doubt, her husband!