Faithful in Small Things

Dr. Wall ponders how little lies ruin our lives. Let your words and actions match instead.

Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.

Jesus in Matthew 25:21

Take care of your business and it will take care of you.

Benjamin Franklin in Poor Richard’s Almanac

It is amazing how little lies can cause such big hurt. The cable company asks you if you want them to come in the AM or the PM. You say AM and take the morning off and they don’t call and they don’t come. Enough to drive you crazy.

Your teenager says he’ll clean his room. He doesn’t. You ask again. He says Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. He doesn’t. Enough to drive you crazy.

Your husband says he’ll pay the credit card bill. He doesn’t. You get late fees again. I’ll watch it this month, he says.   He doesn’t! AHHHHHH! Am I going crazy?

Your wife says she’s been keeping the budget you agree to. Everything’s fine. You find out later she’s got her own credit card. She’s late on payments. The balance is more than you can pay. Now you’ve got more debt. You were already over-extended.

He said he’d quit that porn thing years ago. Turns out he hadn’t. What else is he lying about? Why would he need that? What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he come to me? I must not be skinny enough, stacked enough, young enough, pretty enough, just plain enough. I was already having a hard enough time getting naked in front of him. Now, if he’s comparing me to all of them…

She told you not to worry. We’re just friends, she’d say. It didn’t seem like that to you, but whatayouknow? Quit being so bossy. You can’t tell me who to be friends with. You are so controlling. Why would I want to hang out with you? At least he listens to me. I can talk to him. I can talk to whomever I want. You can’t control me. Turns out there’s hundreds of texts. Hundreds. It’s been a lie. The whole thing has been a lie. Do I know everything now? She says there’s nothing more, but how do I know?

There was a man who was hired to paint a room for a woman. Unbeknown to the painter, she had lots of rooms to be painted. She only hired him for one. He told her he would be there at her house at 9 AM. He arrived at 11:15 instead. He hadn’t called to say he would be late. He apologized profusely for not arriving at 9. He had some very good reasons to be late. He did a very good job painting the room, even cleaning up after himself. She thanked him for doing such a good job, paid him for his services, and sent him on his way.  He complained to his wife about the poor economy.

There was a man who was hired to paint a room for a woman. Unbeknown to the painter she had lots of rooms to be painted. She only hired him for one. He told her he would be there at 9 AM. He arrived at 9 AM. He did a very good job painting the room, but he did not clean up after himself. He cleaned up a little, but the room looked shoddy when he was finished. She thanked him for doing such a good job, paid him for his services and sent him on his way.  He complained to his wife about the poor economy.

There was a man who was hired to paint a room for a woman. Unbeknown to the painter she had lots of rooms to be painted. She only hired him for one. He told her he would be there at 9 AM. He arrived at 9 AM. He did a very good job painting the room. He cleaned up after himself. When she inspected she could not even tell that the painter had been there expect that the room looked brand new. The woman hired him to paint many many rooms as she was a wealthy landlord and owned a fortune in apartment buildings.  This was just the start of a business that grew an grew.

Faithful in small things.

Say what you mean. If you are late say so. Call. Text. Pay your bills on time. Be where you say you are going to be when you are going to be there. Let your words match your actions. When circumstances change, let your loved one’s or clients know. If you misjudge, apologize. If you mess up, make up. Integrity. Consistency. Reliability. Dependability.

If you do this, you will never be shaken. Your world and influence will expand.

If you don’t, watch your world unravel and become an absolute disaster. Watch your loved ones become crazy people. Then you can blame them. Then you can tell your therapist how everyone is ruining your life.

—–

Dr. Bing Wall is a marriage therapist with a practice in Ames and Urbandale, Iowa.  To set up a time to see Dr. Wall click here or call 888-233-8473.  For more information about Dr. Wall click here.