Ask Dr. Bing Podcast #12: What If My Spouse Won’t Go To Therapy?
Marital therapy works best if both partners go together. One partner might not want to go for various reasons, that I address in this podcast. It’s pretty difficult for one partner to work on trust issues or communication issues or improving the relationship because all of these issues involve both of them. I caution that if one spouse suggests we need to go to therapy that the two of them had better go! You don’t want to come see us after thing have crashed and burned.
If your spouse won’t come to therapy with you we’d suggest you come alone to see us. One is better than none. We’ll still make an effort to keep a positive view of marriage even if you’ve lost heart.
However, with some therapists individual therapy can oftentimes lead to divorce because the therapist and the client talk about the absent spouse and a lot of biased assumptions are explored which is catagorically unfair because the other spouse isn’t there to give his or her point of view. Marriage is made up of two minds, not one.
You’ll also want to make sure you understand the values of the therapist you are seeking advice from. At Heart to Heart we take a positive stance on marriage. We’ll help you take one on yours.
In this podcast I explore three objections to therapy:
1) We can solve our own problems.
2) I don’t want my spouse and the therapist to beat up on me.
3) Only wusses go to therapy.