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Sexual Brokenness vs. Sexual Wholeness

It’s nice to see there are others on the web who are advocating that we look to God for our wholeness around sexuality instead of looking only at orgasms.  The acceptance of same-sex marriage and same-sex behavior as normal is a step toward saying either God is dead, doesn’t exist or He has absolutely no ability to communicate His Truth to us or He’s capricious and changes His mind.  Who’d want to worship a God like that?  If “God doesn’t see”* or care or if He’s just plain stupid, you can do whatever you want.

I’ve been advocating in this blog that God is alive and exists and communicates His truth to us and marriage is honored by God as a way to protect and beautify sexual love between a husband and a wife.  Cohabitors, who live together without seeking marriage, are thieves stealing from each other.  They can call themselves married all they want because they say they are committed to each other, but that doesn’t make them any more married than a person who steals a car and is driving it and saying to himself, this car is mine.  By the way, thieves don’t make good marital partners because you need faithfulness and unselfishness and an ability to say no and to be patient in order to make a long-term, for-life, spouse, but cohabitors want it now.  Same-sex people use the same arguments.  You can call yourselves married but, sorry, your bodies don’t even fit together and all we end up with is death mascourading as light.  But we don’t care.  We want our orgasms and we want them now and in any color or flavor and in any context with anyone and if you have a protest (I protest because you will be broken spiritually, sexually and personally if you live your life this way.) you need to be ridiculed and mocked.

I’ve been thinking for a while now that if we accept abortion (which we have as a culture) and if we accept cohabitation as normal (which we are doing more and more) and if we accept same-sex behavior as receiving the American stamp of approval (which we are on the way to doing unless there is a remarkable turning toward God in repentance), it won’t be long before perversity of all stripes will be accepted.  Then those of use who are crying as voices in the wilderness that this is wrong, hurtful, perverted and headed down a dead end street, will be the objects of scorn.

Meanwhile I’ll still write that if you accept these behaviors as normal in your life there can be only one outcome: sexual brokenness.  Sexuality was provided by God as a way for us to experience intimacy in marriage.  Sexuality is so precious and fragile that it needs the safety and protection of a loving husband and wife to flourish.  Even in that context it can be an instrument of hurt (witness the totally expected excitement over Christian Grey and his lust for bondage and worse in the Fifty Shades of Grey series or the demanding diatribe of a husband steeped in porn or the shrill voice of a wife all agog in her romantic novels) and needs an unselfish spirit in marriage between a husband and wife to thrive.

But outside of that?

Pleasure followed by Brokenness.

I came across the video below about sexual brokenness by some colleagues of Charles Colson, who passed away recently.  They promise a four part series on sexual brokenness.  Here’s part one just posted earlier this week.  Check it out.  We need all the encouragement we can get to keep our hearts pure:


*Psalm 10:11


Dr. Bing Wall is a therapist specializing in marriage and relationships and issues facing single adults with a practice in Ames and Urbandale, Iowa.  To set up a time to see Dr. Wall click here or call 888-233-8473.  For more information about Dr. Wall click here.

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